Saturday evening was one of the sweetest nights I have had in awhile. Dane and I planned a night out to celebrate each other. We needed an evening to celebrate completing my life coaching training, Dane successfully hosting his first youth hockey camp, and that we both recently started new jobs. Although we were celebrating recent accomplishments, the night felt long overdue. We acknowledge how busy we have been this summer and realized it had been a while since we took some time just to be present and rejoice in our lives.
We started the evening at the oldest winery in Minnesota, Alexis Bailly. It was a 35 minute drive from St. Paul and we spent the ride down talking, laughing and sharing with each other what’s going on in our lives. You’d think just from living with someone you’d know all of the ins and outs of what’s going on in their life, but life itself, especially the lives of people with multiple jobs, hobbies and activities, can prevent these types of conversations from happening.
We then stopped for a drink along the Mississippi river at Red River Kitchen. We were able to sit on the patio and watch as the river flowed in front of us. This is where the celebration really began. We talked about our businesses, our wedding, our friends and family, and all of the other amazing things in our lives.
I had the opportunity to share with Dane that when describing him to someone in my last weekend of training I put it this way “If tomorrow Dane and I were no longer to be together, I would only have the deepest sense of gratitude toward him, as he would for me”. I realized in sharing this with Dane that I haven’t really talked about him via my blog, but he is so much a part of not just the blog, but also my mission and determination to do this type of work.
Just like the river, we couldn’t stay in one place too long so we moved on to our dinner plans. We were lucky to score a patio spot at W.A. Frost, a restaurant we have had our eyes on for a few years. While enjoying our delicious drinks and yummy food, we went from celebrating what has happened and started flirting with what will happen. We envisioned our future lives, what we would achieve, the direction that we would go with our businesses and what we want to do for this world based on our God given gifts.
I have been really lucky to have a partner like Dane in my life. I believe we have done a remarkable job of growing together while staying together. Our dreams get bigger and our relationship gets stronger. The plan isn’t always defined, but the path is always crystal clear. The path always includes each other and we’re always walking in the same direction (even if sometimes one of us is walking slower, or faster, or veering to the left or right).
I have deep gratitude for Dane and what he’s taught me. I consistently think about how fortunate we are to have the type of relationship that we do. I recognize that not all couples are able to interdependently live their lives together. It requires communication, patience, common understanding and the ability to simultaneously put yourselves and the relationship first. I don’t know how we do it but we figure out a way to keep ourselves and our relationship the highest priority in our lives.
I knew early on when I decided to become a life coach that I wanted to provide coaching for couples. I developed an activity a few years ago as a tool for Dane and I to talk about our futures. We would try to piece the conversation together, but that really wasn’t serving us. One of us would make a comment about something we see in our future and wouldn’t leave space or time to really understand what the person was seeing. It would lead to confusion, frustration and a feeling of “are we really on the same path or has one of us started paving a new path?”.
When we were finally over trying to have a really important conversation bit by bit, we sat down and mapped out our lives. Dane went first and expressed everything he wanted to do and when he wanted to do it, before he turns 30. I did the same thing. I facilitated the entire conversation and we realized that yes, we are still on the same path, and that woah, we have a lot we want to do with our lives!
I now can do this for others! I coach and support couples through the sometimes awkward, defensive or frustrating conversation around where you are going as a couple. The facilitated coaching helps to:
remove personal biases, confusion and unproductive perspectives,
encourage open and forgiving dialogue and,
establish a plan around your future together.
Are you and your significant other on the same path? Or two different paths? If you’re interested in some coaching centered around where you are going as a couple, fill out the form below and I’ll be in touch!