Unstick What Is Stuck: Part One

This 4-part series is focused on getting unstuck - personally, professionally, physically and financially. 

Part 1 - Unstick What Is Stuck - Personally

Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck? Stuck in a bad friendship or relationship, unable to finish what you start, unmotivated to check off your to-do list, or just stuck in your own thoughts, emotions and actions? 

For the longest time, I was personally stuck (well, and professionally, physically and financially but you'll hear more about that in the weeks to come). During this time, I felt frustrated, unmotivated and because I am so hard on myself, there were times when I felt like a failure. For example, a friend would send me a text or email (even a good friend - a best friend!) and I would read the text and essentially choose not to text back. It wasn't that I was mad at the person, or that I didn't want to talk to them, I just couldn't text back. At work, I would start a new project and find myself excited and energized for a few weeks, and then slowly lose my motivation to complete it. I would spend a few good weeks at the gym, then get a cold or over schedule myself or make up a variety of different excuses why I suddenly couldn't get to the gym that day.  It was this period of time when I felt like I couldn't finish anything I started...and it was so different from the Kelsey I always knew.

My first method of figuring out how to get unstuck was spent putting all of my energy back in to the very things that were causing me to feel that way! Eventually, I realized that I needed to focus on positive and energizing actions that were going to empower me to move forward. I needed to have a productive approach to getting out of the rut. 

The activity below is the productive approach that I turned to. This is a process involving brainstorming, reflecting and most importantly, taking action! 

What You’ll Need:

  • Everme Coaching worksheet or two sheets of paper (you can download the accompanying worksheet here)
  • Pen
  • Phone/clock/watch timer
  • Your mind
  • 14 minutes

Ready? Let's Get Started!

  1. Flip your worksheet to Side One.

  2. Set the timer on your iPhone for 5 minutes. Press start.

    1. For the next 5 minutes, write down everything that is causing you to feel personally stuck. You can write down words, fragments, sentences, symbols, pictures, etc. It doesn’t have to be pretty but you only get 5 minutes to get what is in your head down on paper.

      1. Note - No one is going to see this so don’t feel guilty for writing something down on this page. This is for you and for you alone. I encourage you to write down the things that seem scary to write down. 

        1. Full Disclosure - It took me a long time to write down the things that were scary. I literally forced myself to sit down one day just to write down things that I need to admit to myself that I was too scared too previously. If this isn't easy at first, that's ok. We'll get there together!

  3. Set your timer for another 2 minutes. Press Start. (and set your phone down - no checking your Instagram or email or texts just because you picked up your phone! Stay focused!)

    1. Spend the next two minutes reviewing what you wrote down. Consider the following:

      1. Is there anything on there that is surprising for you to see?

      2. What are the things that are not on there yet? Add anything that is missing.

        1. Does what you have identified as missing add to feeling stuck? Or are these things that make you feel free?

  4. Flip your worksheet to Side Two.

  5. Set the timer on your iPhone for 5 minutes. Press start.

    1. For the next 5 minutes, spend time brainstorming action items that you can do to change the things you wrote down on the front page make you feel.

      1. Here's an example: Let's say on Side One, you write down that one thing that makes you feel like you are stuck is when you're sitting on Facebook and you see that "everyone" you are friends with is out at a concert, or a restaurant, or basically anywhere that you are not currently at the moment, and it makes you feel stuck because that's not where you're at in life. One small change that you could make could be... committing to making a list of what you want to be seeing/doing/experiencing right now before opening up that Facebook page... or choosing to only look at Facebook for 30 min a week to mitigate the chance of having these feelings bubble up... or maybe you start to make a list of the restaurants your connections are at and make a restaurant bucket list out of it and make it feel fun vs. frustrating. 

  6. Set your timer for another 2 minutes. Press Start.

    1. Spend the next two minutes reviewing what you wrote down. Add any additional action items that might help with getting you out of your own rut.

  7. Use your pen to select one action item from Side Two that you can focus on for the next 7 days.

  8. Use the 7 Day Focus part of your worksheet to write down one sentence per day on how it feels to focus on that one thing that will help you feel unstuck.

  9. After Day 7, return to this worksheet to circle from Side Two the one thing that would remove most of what you wrote on Side One.

    1. Spend another 5-10 minutes brainstorming more specific steps you can take to focus on this thing. Often times there is one big elephant that needs to be addressed in order to start seeing your personal life become unstuck.

  10. Share your thoughts on how this activity went for you! What worked? What didn’t? Did you tweak anything to make it more meaningful for you?